While looking at the different sites for foster to adopt programs we saw they have several info meetings around the city. We chose to go to one ASAP in Dallas, Texas. This meeting was held at and by Pathway Youth and family Services.
There were quiet a few couples and single people there. I know not all will continue with the fostering process, but I was impressed with the turn out on a random Thursday evening, right before a holiday. Some of the attendees were just interested in fostering, some just in adoption....some, like us, were there to keep an open heart with the info we receive. There were a few couples who had adopted in the past and are now looking to build their family thru this program.
We were told there are infants needing foster care, however, not all will be available for adoption. The foster programs first priority is to reunite children with their parents. If that is not possible, they want to place the children with family or friends of the family. If all of these attempts are exhausted and the children are not to be reunited with mom or dad, family or friend...only then can the foster family try to adopt the child. This can take up to 2 years, sometimes more.
In the meantime, the child can be taken from the foster home at any time. We were told that the average foster family can have 7 children or more in their home before one stays forever. I am all for reunification with bio parents or family. I understand that is best if everything is "ok"...but I do not know if I can handle getting attached and having my hear broken 7+ times. I would need to go in with the fact in mind that the child can leave at any minute, which is true for most of the placements. I have taken care of others children and know I can do this...but I knew, without a dought, that the children I cared for (as a nanny, mainly) would be going back to mom or dad at the end of the day. I do not want to go into being a foster parent and hold back on my love because of the fear of getting attached. That is not fair to a child who may have been neglected or hurt...these children need love no matter what the circumstances.
There is no question they would be VERY well cared for and have all of their needs met...andthere is no question if they would be well loved while (and after, from afar) being in our home. There is the selfish question of how I will feel when having to let them go.
I know God will see me thu this...but the unknown does scare me. We have a lot to pray and think about. Our home is not ready for a home study so as we get everything in shape, we can take the time in figuring this out. Since I will not be working if we decide to foster, I also want to work for awhile to save some money so when a child does come to live with us, we can have some extra for the fun things kids like to do. This is not a decision to rush into...while our first placement might not be here for long, there is an off chance that she could be here forever and we want to be as ready as ....well are you ever really ready? But we want to be our kind of ready.