Sunday, March 17, 2013

Update on Life...TTC, Adoption, and just being the Girlie Girl Housewife

 
Happy St. Patrick's Day everyone!!!!  It has been a very long time since I have posted.  I think I saw my last post was in Novemeber but several of the last ones were just give a way shares and photos.  Alot has been going on so I will try to give a very quick update.
 
First, and I really should have documented this a little better....but David and I were TTCing (trying to conceive).  We have been TTCing since we were married (ok...even before but we KNEW we were getting married and I wasn't getting any younger...LOL).  In August of last year we actually got medical help.  I was diagnosed with PCOS, something I knew I had from symptoms but the doctor actually confirmed this.  Now at first I thought, "now only if I had been diagnosed sooner"...but really?  She did nothing for this.  Just advised me on how losing weight would help, something we all know, right?  Anyway...I did like that this was confirmed and that I was not crazy or just self diagnosing.  I also got the "official" infertility diagnosis.  A couple is considered infertil if they have been TTCing for over a year or if over 35 (ME!!!!) for 6 months.  Well, we have been TTCing for about 4 years so....
 
Since we had this diagnosis, my doctor could actually start with the fertility meds.  Like everyone else, I started with Clomid.  She also prescribed Provera.  I will not go into the TMI of what these do, you can google it for LOTS of info.
 
 
 
To make a long story short, we did 3 rounds of Clomid between August 2012 and Febuary 2013.  I never ovulated, all I got was a big ole cyst that we are still treating.  Surgery was sugested, more on this later, but we opted for the "wait and see" approach.  I actually developed cysts in the other rounds, as well, but they were small and went away, in a few weeks, on their own.  Most women, from what I have researched, get these cysts at some point in their child baring years...but you never know about them because they go away.  The type of cyst I developed is called a "functional cyct".  The last round of Clomid, I developed one that grew very large.  I can not recall right off how big it was at my last sonogram.
 
I am going to back up a bit.  My last round of Clomid was a 150mg round.  I just KNEW this round was working.  I used OPKs (ovulation predictor kits) to test for ovulation (I never ovulated in the last year or more on my own or with the clomid rounds).  Everything pointed to ovulation (I can not recall the exact dates, but I think it was January 23/24), the OPK had a positive, my BBTs were SPOT ON, and the sono I had early in the week showed signs that it was to happen in the next few days (sono was on Monday...all signs pointed to ovulation on Wed/Thurs).  I had all the symptoms...we did all the "baby dancing" at the right times.  We did everything RIGHT.  And the next few weeks I thought "this is it"!!!!!  As the weeks went on I even had symptoms. At the time of what might have been implantation, I had spotting (which is a sign of the embryo implanting). I started taking HPTs (home preg tests) at the appopriate time and all were negative, but some do not see a positive until the period is missed.  The day came and went for TOM to show and nothing happened.  I called to get an appointment with my ob/gyn, as instructed, and was getting very excited.  Well come to find out I did not ovulate, the cyst was just growing.  What mind games our bodies can play.  All of these symptoms can happen when I cyst is getting larger, too.  This was very heartbreaking.  Not only was I NOT pregnant but I was looking at a surgery to remove the cyst and possibly my ovary.  I wanted a second opinion.
 
At this point, we decided to move on to a Reproductive Endocrynologist at a local fertility clinic.  REs are supposed to be better equipped at treating these cysts and since we would be having to move on to "the big dogs" for our next phase of the ferility treatments, we decided to seek an RE.  We chose Frisco Fertility Center and Dr. Havemann.  She looked absolutely amazing in her bio.  When I met her, my thoughts were confirmed.  She was very easy to talk to and gave me great hope.  She talked in "everyday" language that someone, without a medical degree, could understand.  She wrote everything down on paper and made a very understandable game plan.  She told me their thought, in regards to my cyst, was to "wait and see" if it can go down on it's own.  Not to jump to surgery.  She perscribed a month of birthcontrol.  Now this seems a bit counter productive when you are TTCing but with an ovarian cyst, this is actually a popular treatment.  This gives your body a rest and time for the cyst to go down on it's own.  Since I did 3 rounds of Clomid, she said we would also move on from that and explained all of the other options.  This was absolutly fine with me, I did not want to chance another cyst....but she explained that while Clomid can cause a cyst, it is not the only med that does.
 
 
 
Meanwhile, I had lots of bloodwork done, which again confirmed PCOS and David had a semen analysis.  I faxed his results to the Frisco Fertility Center and I waited about week or so to get a call back.  When I called in, the nurse could not find my file!!!  This is when this AMAZING doctor started going down hill.  Dr. Haveman finally called me back, herself...which was awesome considering most doctors leave this up to the nurse.  She explained that she had my file, that is why the nurse could not fins it.  She gave me my bloodtest results and asked for me to call her to discuss giveing me a prescripotion for my insulin resisitance (PCOS side effect) and to discuss the options in regard to the SA (semen analysis).  She was starting to redeem herself.
 
So I called her back.  This was Tuesday, March 4th.  I called back each day and left messages.  Today is March 17th and I have yet to hear back from her.  The excuse I get when I call in, is that she is opening up a new clinic and is busy with that.  Ok, that is fine....but WHY WAS SHE ACCEPTING NEW PATIENTS WHEN SHE DID NOT HAVE TIME FOR US?????  She seems to be a good doctor when she has time.  Why ask me to call her back if she doesn't have time?  Can't she tell the receptionist to refer me to another doctor?????  When you are TTCing, timing is important.  Now, I know I am on birthcontrol right now, so at this time, timing is not that urgent...but will I get a call back when I need it when it IS URGENT????  We will be paying LOTS of money into this clinic when (IF!!!!) we move forward with them...and I expect LOTS of attention for me money.  I finally asked the receptionist if she was just too busy for new patients?  I explained that I felt very comfortable with Dr Havemann when I met her and liked this clinic....but to PLEASE let me know if I need to move on to another clinic who HAS TIME for me.  At this time I can STRONGLY NOT recommend this clinic or Dr Haveman.  She was so nice and patient but if she can not call me back...screw it, there are many MANY other fertility clinics in the DFW area that just might have time for me...Ok...enough on that....we are moving forward....
 
Ok so back to the SA....I am not going to give TMI out of my hubbies privacy but with the results and my severe problems with TTCing...we have decided to go in another direction.  If you have stayed with me this far, I think THIS is the most important part of my update. 
 

 We have decided to ADOPT!!!!!

 
 
I am so excited about this decision.  I have felt in my heart that God has wanted me to adopt all along.  I was a nanny for a family, back in college, that had adopted 2 children internationally.  I would never claim that this was my favorite family, the mom was self involved and the dad was a big dork who tried to make me feel so beneath him in intelligence.  The house was disgusting. The children were cool, for the most part...each had thier own issues but you can not hold these things against a child.  Anyway, I just got a strong need to pursue this when the time was right for me....and this feeling just never left me thru the next 19 years (give or take).  David and I had discussed adoption but he wanted to try to have one on our own, first.  It would be great if that happened but I just do not think it will.  Our last option with all of our issues would be IVF with ICSI....this is very invasive and does not have a very high chance of even working.  I do not think I can take more emotional roller coasters.  I know adoption has many emotional roller coasters but I have such a strong beleif that God wants us to do this...I have faith he will see me thru this journey. 
 
We just came to this descision early last week so we have no idea which direction we will go.  I am researching every option from domestic infant thru an agency, lawyer mediated, adoption from CPS, foster to adopt, etc.  It is all very overwhelming. 
 
It is also very expensive.  David's company has a great adoption benifit we are looking into, it is not much but every little bit helps.  There is a federal tax credit that will help, after the adoption is final (so we will need to cash upfront).  There are grants (lots of competition for these so we can not count on this) and loans (which would be partially paid back with the tax credit).  And the biggest help will be....are you ready for this???? 
 
 
 
The Girlie Girl Housewife has found a JOB!!!!  I have not started, yet, but I was hired to be a preschool teacher.  It is only part time but this will help so much.  The weirdest thing, well not really weird if you beleive in God's plan and have faith that he will see you thru all things, is that I do not remember applying for this job.  When Ms. Nicold (the director) called me, it was like out fo the blue.  I went online and searched for the listing and came up empty handed.  There was nothing showing in any of my "job search" accounts that I applied for this job or that there was alisting for this job.  It is like it was just sent to me.  We will sock every paycheck away into our adoption fund and we should be able to start the process in a little over a year, we hope.  That seems so far away.  We have lots to keep us busy, in the meantime.  We need to spruce up this house so it will pass a home study.  We have a place to repair in the ceiling of what will become the baby's room and we need to get a lock on my craft room door.  These are the BIG things, our home is clean and in pretty good shape (cosmetically there aree things I would like to change but this is not important).  We also need to continue getting in better shape so we can apply as a healthy couple...even if we are a bit older.  We will also be doing lots of fundraising.
 
 
 
To help raise money we are doing a few things...  besides me working as a preschool teacher during the week, I am searching for a weekend job.  I could kick myself for not following thru with a recent postion that I was asked to interview for.  It was as a weekend activity assistant for an assisted living community.  I needed something more in the week at that time but now I need weekends, too.  I did not want something that would take me away from home when David is here...weekends are our time together.  Well, this is only temporary so I can handle being away a few hours on the weekends.  We can handle this for the next two years if it means bringing Baby Powell home sooner.
 
Also, we will be having a garage sale.  I have sold most of my "good" things on eBay already but I have a few things packed away in the garage that will bring a dollar or two...and evey dollar helps.  We will finance this adoption dollar by dollar.  I will also be on the lookout for more Ebay things, as I have time. 
 
I am selling a few handmade  and vintage things on a facebook page "Girlie Girl's Notion Shop" (go to the PHOTOS section to see all the goodies...I am working on this so right now each photo album does not  have a name...I can not figure out how to fix it :(  I will also be reopening my Etsy shop, soon....but everything will also be on the facebook page to save on fees...remember every dollar counts and those fees add up.  I will post more about the actual adoption process in their own posts, and more about how we will be fundraising, too...these are too importatnt to just be burried in this long post.
 
On with the rest of the updates....
 
I stopped HCG back in August when we started with the feritility tratments....but I am thinking on starting another round after Passover / Easter.  I tried the Feritility Diet and all those carbs helped me to gain about 10 pounds.  So onto another Low Carb plan.  I do very well on these but then occasions happen and I give in to temptation...the holidays....got back on Jan 2nd and lost the 10 I gained....Valentines Day....Purim....Weekends....I loose diring the week just to gain fast on the weekends or special occasions...so I am holding steady but not going down.  I think this is why I need a round of HCG.  I have to stick to it for a minimum of 21 days, including weekends, to see the benifit.  It has enough strict guidlines that I should be able to loose a few.  Who knows, I always thing the next best thing will work better.  Since we are not on any meds for ferility I think this would be the best time to give it another go.....
 
Couponing has been at a standstill.  I did not need anything!!!!  Our pantry was full of things I was not supposed to be eating and I had no more room for new products.  Now our toilet paper and paper towel towers are getting low so I need to stock up on those.  Other things that are getting low are things we do not really need.  I will be trying to get a stock of baby things together in the near future, but I do not want to get too much of things we might not need for the age we might be bringing home or something the baby just might not like.  It is very hard to get back into couponing once you let it slide for awhile.  I was really rocking it last Spring and Summer...I even took daily CVS trips while we were at the beach for vacation last summer.
 
Household news is about the same.  The daily life of a housewife does not change much.  I still had my most favorite (insert sarcastic look) laundry days, I sitll had housework and homie hobbies...  My sewing machine is old and wonky so I did not do much sewing.  I did, however, get back into scrapbooking on steroids.  I shopped WAY too much for this hobby, as well.  This is being put to a STOP (again every dollar counts).  I have a few gift cards left from Christmas that can be used but I want to buy supplies that I can use to "make and sell" things.  I have so much in my craft room that I could craft for years and not make a dent. 
 
Speaking of memory keeping...I started Project Life this year.  I will do a seperate blog about that but I just have to say that I LOVE LOVE LOVE this.  I keep up with the memory keeping and still have time for other paper craft projects like cards and gifts.  I love sending cards to Tennesee to my cousins Brady and Brenden.  Brady is three and he even sent me a Valentine's card that he helped make.  Brenden is a little younger so he probably doesn't "get" it...but I can not leave him out.
 
I am so excited about my new job.  I have been wanting to try my hand at being a preschool teacher for so long.  I start training tomorrow....I will try to be better at updating and letting y'all know all about it.  I need to wrap this up as it is a very long post...but bare with me as I promote my fundraising efforts on my blog in the upcoming months.  I need to get the word out and promote my shops as much as possible. 
 
 
 
Thanks for reading my vevry long post...
 
XO
Tiff
 

3 comments:

  1. I just found your blog and I am enjoying your tone and style very much. We, too went through years of infertility work before we gave up, then miracle baby showed up. He is now 26, but your story still s touched that old part of me.
    I found your blog because of the wonderful dinosaur photo you included. May I contact you about getting permission to use it for an educational slide show I am doing about energy, for 4-8th graders? You can email me at joyce@earthmama.org.
    Thank you very much and best of luck getting your family growing!

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  2. Hi Joyce,

    I just sent you an email, I am so sorry for the delay in responding. Congrats on your 26 year old son. I keep hoping that a miracle will happen for us but I also know that God wants us to adopt, so our miracle will come.....and no morning sickness.

    Thanks for following.

    Tiffany

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